Chapter Text
“...and the Saint observed the light and rejoiced, and uttered ‘look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness’.”
- Quote from the History of Saints, penned around the year 120 (BRCW).
***
The stories of the Saints had been passed down in Ravka from generation to generation since the beginning of human memory. Whether preached by the monks in chapels or whispered as bedtime stories, the words became eternal in the hearts of the Ravkan people.
And as war tore their beloved country apart these stories became particularly needed, for who else could save them apart from a blessed Saint? They did not have any faith in their fat old king or greedy politicians in Os Alta, who seemed more willing to drink and feast than care for the safety of the common people.
The believers prayed for a miracle. They prayed for a Saint to come, to wield a sword of burning light to save them all. Only they could save them from darkness.
The doubters prayed for the Shu or Fjerdans to show them leniency. They were convinced the Saints had turned their backs on Ravka and would leave them in ruin for their past sins. It had been centuries since a sun summoner was mentioned in the old scrolls; they were a myth, a legend.
All the while, a tired wanderer kept watch from his Little Palace. He had waited for centuries; he could wait a little longer.
But one day, the Saints above heard the prayers and agreed it was time for the inevitable.
On that same day a baby girl was born in Dva Stolba who would change the course of history for good.
***
At five years old, Alina went to live at Duke Keramsov's orphanage in Keramzin. She was small and scrawny for her age and always ill. She was an orphan of war and had no surviving family to claim her. Later on, when pressed by the matronly housekeeper Ana Kuya, she could barely remember her parents except that they were always hungry and sad.
She felt safe in the orphanage though. She liked the surrounding trees and fields and even made a precious friend. Mal was a year older than her and showed her how to climb trees and find sweet berries that were safe to eat. She became his little shadow and followed him wherever he went, and even went as far as boxing the ears of a boy who tried ganging up on him.
Even as a child, Ana Kuya remarked how protective Alina could be of her friends. How she would defend him to the bright lands and back with no thought of her own safety (for she was a tiny thing with stick-thin arms). Instead of guarding her heart from further heartbreak, the orphan girl loved fiercely and easily.
Alina was playing a game of hide and seek when she first encountered Sonechka in the woods behind the orphanage. She’d hidden too well and it was getting dark. She’d never been as good at Mal at finding her way home and the autumn leaves made it difficult to see the ground. She tripped over a half-hidden root and knocked her knee painfully.
“Little Kotik. Have you hurt yourself, dear?” a woman asked.
Her hair was long and white and Alina was reminded of Baba Yaga from the stories, but there was kindness shining on her wrinkled old face so she trusted her. Alina rubbed at her teary eyes and held out her scraped knee. The woman cooed and made a fuss and Alina leaned into her warmth. It was a far cry from Ana Kuya’s stern affection.
“Can you help me?” she asked sadly. “I need to find my way back to the orphanage. I’m going to be in so much trouble, I’ve already missed supper.”
“Of course, little one. Stay with me, you can lean on my arm if your knee is poorly. We’ll get you home soon enough,” the woman promised, helping her to her feet. She had bright blue eyes the colour of the sky. “Ana Kuya is an old friend of mine. We used to play in these woods together as children so I know all the paths and turns. My name is Sonechka.”
“I’m Alina Starkov.”
“I guessed as much. Ana has spoken about you and the wonderful gift you have. I wonder, why didn't you use it to find your way home?”
“My mother warned me never to use it. She said it could be dangerous,” Alina said slowly, though her fingers were already twitching hopefully beside her.
“She sounds like a wise woman, your mother, but maybe you could use it now to help an old woman see? It would be a fine thing for us to take another tumble. My eyes are not what they used to be, little Kotik. Just a small glimmer will do.” Perhaps she sensed a trace of worry from Alina because she added, “You’ll be safe with me. Don’t fret.”
So Alina let her hands begin to glow. It was a dim white light that enabled them to see the ground and step over any roots and leaves carefully. The woman was smiling beside her but she noticed tears running gently down her old wrinkled cheeks too. She was holding her hand tightly but Alina didn’t mind. It felt nice.
She imagined for a moment Sonechka was her real grandmother and they were going home where she would tell her bedtime stories and prepare a hot drink, instead of the cold orphanage. Perhaps she could sneak into the kitchen later and see if there were any leftovers from dinner.
The woman spoke quietly. “This is a blessed day, my dear. I’ve been waiting my whole life to meet you. Bless you.”
***
Alina visited Sonechkla the following week to thank her for her help and show off her healed knee. She’d told her that she lived in a small thatched cottage in the west of the woods, close to the brook. She said to listen out for the babbling water and sound of chickens and she’d find the right path. When Alina arrived Sonechkla was hanging out washing to dry in the sun and she greeted Alina with a large smile before ushering her inside for some lunch. She even prepared some hot sweet milk.
Alina stayed all afternoon and listened to the old woman tell tales of the woods and her childhood with Ana Kuya. She seemed to know all about the Saints too and had a picture book filled with pretty drawings and texts that Alina could just about string together. She even let Alina take it back to the orphanage to show Mal who politely glanced at the pages even though his attention was clearly elsewhere.
“We do enough reading in our lessons,” he scoffed affectionately. He mussed her hair up with his elbow (because he already loomed over her). “Why do you want to do more reading?”
She couldn’t say why, except that she enjoyed going to see Sonechkla all the same. It felt like something entirely hers in a place where everyone shared everything. Even her clothes were hand-me-downs.
Alina went back a few days later and then again and again.
Soon she went over there as much as she could. Ana Kuya didn’t mind at all, as long as it fit around her chores and teaching and she came home on time. She even sent Alina with a basket one day of fresh bread and jam. Alina enjoyed a tasty snack that day.
During each visit, Sonechkla asked to see her power and Alina was happy to show her.
“How long have you been able to create such beautiful light, Kotik?” she asked one day, using her pet name for her. Alina had been helping her muck out the chickens but she always brought her inside when she used her power.
“Ever since I can remember. My father would always yell and my mother told me to keep it a secret, like I said,” Alina suddenly bit her lip, worried. “Should I stop using it, Sonechka? I don’t want to stop. It makes me feel sick and tired when I have to hide it.”
She was very young but she understood that what she could do wasn’t normal and it would bring about trouble. She'd carved out some happiness here in her life at the orphanage and didn’t want it to all be taken away. Not again.
“You can use it all you want here, my dear, and I promise you'll be safe as long as we keep the door closed tight and the curtains drawn. But you must keep it a secret outside or when you’re back at the orphanage. Can you promise me you will?”
“Yes, matyushka,” Alina promised.
“Now now, where’s that smile gone? Tell me, can you summon a ball of light in your hands?”
After a few attempts, Alina successfully conjured a small ball of light in the palm of her hand. It was only the size of a walnut but it was bright and made her giggle. It almost tickled her skin.
Each week the old woman began to ask her to perform something different, to push her power a little more and more further. She showed her how to hold her hands properly and clap them together before drawing them out just so.
“You are Grisha,” she finally said one day, smiling in delight. Alina had just managed to summon two balls of light this time and make them hop between her hands. “Can I tell you a secret, Kotik? I am Grisha too, only I can command the water instead. They used to call me an Etherealki, a Tidemaker . My gift is weak now, as is my body, but when I was a girl I was considered one of the best in Ravka.”
“Am I an Ether-ally-ee?”
“I’m not sure what the world is going to call you yet but you’re a Grisha make no mistake about it. There are hundreds of us, little one, and one day I sorely hope you will meet more.”
Grisha. Finally, a name for what she could do. A name she could bear.
That evening she lent her a book about a Saint and mythical creatures, namely a Stag, a Sea Whip, and a Firebird. Alina liked the picture of the white stag the best and ran her finger over the horns. She would pay dearly to have such a beautiful creature as a pet, but then maybe that was cruel. It belonged in the wild, after all, free and unchained.
***
The old woman first uttered the word 'destiny' when Alina was around eight years old.
They sat by the oven like usual and Sonechka told her more about the Grisha. Alina curled up with a crust of bread, thinking this would be like any other tale but as she went on, her little heart began to hammer inside her chest.
Until now they spoke about her gifts in passing as though it was any other skill (Sonechka also taught her how to sew, make a fishing net, and collect useful herbs she could use in medicines). Alina was still too young to think or care about her future and what it all might mean in the wider sense. Her worries were rightfully preoccupied by the boys in the orphanage who chased her and Mal and how best to please her grumpy tutor who seemed to think she was deliberately not listening. He’d smacked her sharply across the hand last week with a cane - and even Ana Kuya intervened, much to everyone's surprise. Perhaps she thought Alina was too weak or sickly a target.
But now Sonechka told her all about the Grisha, about kefta, and a place called the Little Palace. She told her about the clever people who could manipulate wind and water and fire. There were even some Grisha who could heal wounds and take control of a human’s body and actions. She told her that everything in life had a balance and the Small Science gift was no exception. A Squaller could extinguish an Inferni’s flame, for example, just like blowing out a candle.
Alina grinned and asked her who could possibly be her balance because no element could affect her light, surely?
Sonechka cleared her throat before speaking. Alina found herself leaning forwards on the rug.
“You’re correct, none of these Etherealki have the power to keep you in check, but as I said everything in life must have a balance or else you face the risk of ruin. There is a person who wields a power similar to your own, though while you can summon light, he can only summon darkness. Light and dark…day and night…the two sides of the same powerful coin. You were born, Alina, to be his balance and he yours, as nature surely intended. For by the time you are grown, both of you will outmatch the other elements,” she explained. Alina was too enraptured by her words to notice Sonechka’s pursed lips or the sadness that crept over her shoulders like a heavy chain. “One day you will meet him and I pray you will be his match, little one.”
Unknowingly she blew life to an unknown person in Alina’s mind, a nightmarish figure who would plague her dreams from this day on. A chyert from the old stories.
Sonechka called him the shadow summoner. A dangerous man who could command and bring forth shadows and darkness. He was very powerful and very old. She told her he was likely immortal.
“You were made to be his balance, so it's likely you are immortal as well, little Kotik. It is your destiny.”
But since when did an eight year old child care about immortality? Death was a foreign concept to her, one she had the privilege to sweep to the back of her thoughts.
Instead Alina spotted the unshed tears in Sonechka’s blue eyes and it was her feelings that Alina concerned herself with. She leant forwards on her knees to embrace the old woman. She did not want her to be sad.
***
That evening she flinched at every coiling shadow. She wasn’t sure what she expected to find lurking in the dark corners but she knew it meant her harm. She pleaded with Mal to keep pinching her so she would stay awake but he told her she was being silly. To her relief no ghoul or devil came for her that night and she managed to get a few hours of rest, though it did not stop her fretting.
***
When Alina turned thirteen years old Mal gifted her with a sketchbook he found at the market and Ana Kuya purchased her some hardy sapogi boots. The orphanage cook (a half-blind man called Ivan) made her a modest cake with sugar donated from the duke’s kitchen and Alina had two large slices. She was feeling rather spoiled by the time she skipped down to the brook.
Sonechka gave her a beautiful gift wrapped carefully in fabric. It turned out to be a long cotton robe (the blue was faded but still lovely) with brass buckles down the front. She swung it on over her tattered patched shirt and marvelled at the long sleeves and train. It was lined with fur and Alina stroked it carefully with her fingers.
“It’s my old Kefta,” Sonechka said. “You’re smaller than I was at your age but you’ll have plenty of time to grow into it. I thought you could start wearing it while you practise. All the best Grisha in Ravka own one. You can leave it here for safe keeping.”
It was finer than anything Alina owned and she thanked her with a warm hug.
There was another surprise. She announced that an old friend - and a very talented Grisha - was coming to stay with her for the whole summer and would help Alina train. However, any excitement Alina may have felt quickly vanished during their first lesson. The woman was mean and cold with a twist of knotted grey hair. Her beady black eyes looked her up and down with complete disdain, as though Alina’s mere presence irritated her.
She never revealed her power. She didn't even bother to introduce herself so Alina started calling her The Upyr in her thoughts. Vampire.
She was tough too and not as complimentary as Sonechka. When Alina could not meet her demands she would rap her around the back of the legs with a stick or insult her. “Try harder,” she would always mutter.After three weeks of such cruel treatment, Alina whirled around to finally hurl a barrage of abuse at her when her hands flew back and a shining blade swept across the room.
Sonechka’s poor curtains were sliced to ribbons.
The Upyr called it The Cut. It was the first time Alina saw the remnants of a smile grace her lips. She felt a fierce flush of pride in her chest.
“Again.”
Sonechka hired some of the townsmen to build her a new wooden shed at the back of her house. She said she was planning on buying a goat but it never arrived. So instead Alina used the area to practise. It was brutal but by the end of the summer there was a noticeable increase in Alina’s ability to control and summon her light. Yet still the Upyr criticised and fretted, grumbling loudly to Sonechka that Alina was lazy, hopeless, weak. She was not strong enough. He had centuries of experience and she needed to catch up fast. By he, Alina knew she meant the shadow summoner.
She didn’t know why she sat through all the abuse when she could've left for the orphanage, but there was a flicker of stubbornness inside that wanted to prove to this old crone she was not as stupid or weak as she presumed. Though she loathed her, she was admittedly helping her a lot with her gifts.
“I know who you’re talking about. The Darkling,” Alina said after hearing it all for the tenth time. She was sipping the herbal tea Sonechka made which would soothe sore muscles. Ana Kuya had chosen today to visit too which made the Upyr's tirade even more embarrassing. “If you know something about him, I would have you tell me.”
Ever since Sinechka told her about the shadow summoner, Alina yearned to know more about him to dispel the scary figure from her nightmares. She kept her ears open and was rewarded when a regiment of First Army soldiers passed through Keramzin on their way to the border. After that she’d poured over every book she could get her hands on to find out more about the Black General, the Darkling, or General Kirigan as he was also known. She quizzed every soldier she met (as did Mal, who was recruited to the effort with a vague explanation he didn’t quite believe).
The Darkling was a fearsome Grisha, they concluded, but a brilliant tactician and general. His enemies were terrified of him, as were his allies.
She saw the Upyr and Sonechka exchange a look before Sonechka and Ana Kuya left the cottage, saying it was time to feed the animals.
“How old are you, girl? Thirteen? A child,” she muttered. “But I suppose the more you know now the better. You’ll understand perhaps the need to push yourself, to learn quicker. Why we’re all bending over backwards and endangering our very lives to help you.” She took a deep breath and turned in her chair to face Alina who was sitting very very still. “The Black General is also the Black Heretic, though you’ll do wise to keep that information to yourself if you value your life. You know the story from your history lessons, I presume?”
Alina’s hands shook and she dropped her cup with a clatter. It smashed on the floor but neither of them bent to pick it up. She felt like she might be sick.
“He created The Fold ? The volcra? That thing is evil, it’s hurt people. He’s a… monster.”
“He’s not a monster, foolish girl, though most of Ravka would agree with you. People cannot be defined as as good or bad, monsters or heroes. Thinking he is simply a monster is your first mistake and proves your childishness. Do not underestimate him like that,” the Upyr snapped. “I told you who he is because you need to know the full extent of his potential and ambition when you face him…and face him you certainly will.”
She noted Alina’s terrified expression. “Oh yes, you’ll meet him. Know this, girl…he is hunting for you even now, though he doesn't know of your existence yet. All of us are working hard to shield you from him and hinder the search for as long as possible, but he will come the moment he discovers you’re alive. It’s as inevitable as the sun setting in the sky. And when that dreaded day comes, you have to be ready to defend yourself.”
“What do you mean, defend myself? I have to fight him… kill him?”
The Upyr paused delicately. She glanced at her gloved hands before responding and a very odd expression clouded her eyes.
“There are other ways of defeating him and keeping him in check, and yet you go straight for the jugular. Why? Is there a bloodthirsty streak to you we've not yet seen?”
Alina thought of her light, of The Cut, of what she might be able to do one day with enough training and skill… but none of it sat easily in her tender heart.
"Of course not but if the Darkling intends on killing me then I’ll have no choice, do I?”
The Upyr considered her carefully. It was perhaps the first time she met her gaze and made an effort to really see Alina.
“There are precious few people still alive today who truly know the man you name the Darkling, and luckily for you I count myself as one of them. So hear me, girl, and mark these words. Carve them into your childish mind so you never forget them. The Black General will never kill you nor does he seek to. He’s been waiting for the sun summoner for centuries and knows better than anyone there can be no shadow without light,” she said lowly. “But that does not mean you should ever trust him. I don’t know exactly what his plans are for you…nor do I know how he'll treat you...it’ll be a new land for you both to navigate, one Ravka has never seen. However it’s my guess he will seek to influence you, and eventually wield your power for himself. It’s not in his nature to share or place his trust in others…
…so you see, these lessons, child, are not to help you kill the Black General, but are to help you defend yourself against his cunning, his ambition, and his remarkable talent for manipulating others for his gain. I am not training you to duel him - for you will lose if you act so foolishly - but as I said, there are other ways of winning a war.”
Alina’s face fell entirely and she felt her body curl around itself. “It’s too much,” she murmured, weeping. “Saints, it’s too much. It’s so confusing.”
For a second she wished for the Upyr’s pity, that the older woman remember she was still a young girl, too naïve for the complexities of powerful men and the designs of Saints. She wanted to ask why she of all people had been chosen for such a treacherous task - why her? Why not some golden-haired prince who was strong and brave?
But of course there was no such kindness. She was as hard and brittle as broken glass.
“I don’t know why the Saints chose this time for you to come, but chose it they did and we must trust in their infinite wisdom. You’re the sun summoner, his equal, Alina. You cannot and will not cower before him.”
***
Alina didn’t see the Upyr for a long while and she was glad of it. It was much nicer in her small corner of the world with just Mal and Ana Kuya and Sonechka. Life went on and she turned fifteen years old and her body finally began to take notice and grow upwards too. That winter was so bitterly cold in Sonechka’s cottage that Alina could see her own breath and took to bringing her chopped wood every day (courtesy of Mal). She was surprised then, that the Upyr braved the journey in such bitter weather and returned one day without warning.
Alina felt mixed emotions upon seeing her dark coat hanging up beside Sonechka’s brightly woven shawls. Ever since their conversation, she had spent many restless nights pondering philosophy, morality, and her place in the world. At the same time more and more children arrived at the orphanage, serving as a harrowing reminder of the ravages of war and uselessness of idle kings. Alina knew from gossip that the Darkling (along with the Grisha Second Army) was fighting in the wars and she felt utterly powerless despite her great gifts.
She had made up her mind she would not become his executioner. She needed to find an alternative path and to do that she needed to understand more about their roles and unique dynamic. When Mal hunted an animal he learned about its patterns so he knew what to look for and follow the tracks. He crafted his own tools and used them to help. It made sense to do the same in her case.
She would not tell the Upyr that, of course. She might call her soft and give another lecture about her blessed destiny, although a part of her (for reasons she couldn’t piece together yet) thought the Upyr would be pleased with her decision.
“I want to know more about balance. I want to know what it means for me, as a sun summoner. I know in the Little Palace they teach the Grisha about theory and how the Small Sciences work...but I've never had the privilege of such learnings. Sonechka tries her best...yet I think you have a better understanding of my gifts...and those of the shadow summoner.”
The Upyr was in the process of showing her an old and ancient technique that very few in recorded history had mastered. She paused at Alina’s words. "Please."
“Sonechka has told you about the Etherealki and the natural push and pull between the elements, yes? Nature must have order and a partner to keep it balanced. The both of you are unique in your summoning, so it is your role to act as the General’s balance and save Ravka from his greed and ambition.”
“I know all that,” Alina said. She’d taken to wearing her long brown hair in a plait and twisted the end thoughtfully. “Tell me about this push and pull. What do you mean?”
“Take a Squaller and an Inferni. A Squaller can chose to use their gifts to blow out the flame entirely - the pull - or use the wind to coax the flame into a fiery inferno - the push. They have the option of aiding the Inferni or holding them back. A true balance is finding just the right level so both Grisha can reach their full potential while at the same time keeping the world safe. So you see? A help or a hinder."
"Is it the same for the Darkling and I?"
"Precisely. Though regrettably it's not as straight forward as with the other elements. You'll have no teacher, no examples you can study. It will be harder for you as the General has had centuries to sink into further darkness and forge his schemes," she said. "Yet...if you do somehow manage to achieve the impossible and find a suitable balance, then I predict you'll become the embodiment of light and dark itself. The people will flock to you and love you as the bringer of light, child, while casting him rightfully in the role as its darkness...for the world needs both.”
What a lonely place to be, Alina thought.“And he's my pull too, I suppose, as it works both ways?”
“Naturally. Too much power will only lead to ruin. Without him you will burn all too brightly. You may even find yourself being devoured by the light, whether by accident or design. Just as he faces a similar fate now, albeit by shadow.”
“So… with the right push?”
“Together you would be formidable, child.”
Alina couldn’t work out if she meant that as a blessing or a threat. As always there were too many riddles for her liking.
The Upyr went on… “It’s no light task. It’s a delicate dance and you must learn the steps, and keep dancing forever. The Saint and the Heretic. If you miss a step or leave the floor, he will know and use it to his advantage.”
Alina felt her shoulders sag. She was old enough by now to understand the gravity of forever and what it meant.
She had come to love Mal though knew in her heart he would never return her feelings. The idea of him growing old and grey while she remained in the bloom of youth forever was a heartbreaking one. All of the people she might come to love would face a similar fate, as would her friends. Once she might have cried and begged the Upyr to find a way to rip out her gifts, that they were not worth the long solitary march ahead, but she was in control of her powers and they were a part of her. They were as necessary to her as bone and flesh. She would never give them up even if it meant dancing through life alone...with the Darkling.
So this time she did not weep or ask why. Instead she simply rolled up the sleeves of Sonechka’s kefta and raised her chin.
“You'd better show me that technique then. I have a lot of catching up to do and the Darkling's had plenty of time to expect me.” The Darkling had four centuries worth of head start, if the Upyr was correct. He would know all about the push and pull, about the threat she posed to his power (and also the boon she may be). She would have to buckle down even harder if she wanted to claim her birthright.
***
By the following month she had learned how to summon a blade of pure dazzling light. By the following year she mastered it. She could control the heat and intensity of the blade to make it slice through most materials, except for steel or other hard metals. She accompanied Mal on his daily runs around the fields and he showed her exercises to build up her strength. She didn't know anyone who knew how to fight with a sword but she could piece together the basics. The glowing sword itself was enough of a deterrent for most would-be attackers.
The blade could not sit in her hands directly for it would burn her, so she wielded a sword hilt and then summoned the light at the end. At first she used a cracked rusted hilt she found in one of the market forges, but then the Upyr presented her with one made from shining steel with a black onyx stone cast on the pommel.
Sonechka called her a Saint when she saw her wielding the sword for the very first time in her kefta. Alina felt a flash of pride for the way Sonechka looked at her.
Sankta Alina
That night Alina waited until she was all alone and felt brave enough to address the flickering shadows directly. “Why do you haunt me still...are you truly so cruel?” she asked quietly. “Or do you seek my light for some other reason? Are you lonely?”
The Upyr’s words sat heavily on the tip of her tongue.
"She said we could be formidable together," she whispered.
