A relationship between an INTJ and INFJ epitomizes how the heart and the mind can work harmoniously together to build a powerful bond.
People often put a thinker (INTJ) and a feeler (INFJ) on diametrically opposed points on the dating scene because their striking differences in nurturing connections and dealing with intimacy can seem like oil and water.
If you’re curious to learn how this seemingly unlikely relationship can work, then keep reading to uncover the exciting dynamics of an INTJ and INFJ in love.
INTJ and INFJ Relationship Compatibility
Before we delve into the relationship compatibility between an INFJ and an INTJ, here’s a quick description of each personality type:
Dubbed the Mastermind, INTJs prefer to work alone, dissect and discuss abstract concepts, and plan things. They are very independent, often have pronounced self-confidence, and tend to take criticism well.
The primary cognitive functions of an INTJ are:
- Dominant: Introverted Intuition
- Auxiliary: Extroverted Thinking
- Tertiary: Introverted Feeling
- Inferior: Extraverted Sensing
INFJs, or Counselors, are empathetic and compassionate. They are great at gauging other people’s nature and personalities, and they are also very intuitive.
An INFJ’s core cognitive functions include:
- Dominant: Introverted Intuition
- Auxiliary: Extraverted Feeling
- Tertiary: Introverted Thinking
- Inferior: Extraverted Sensing
Three shared letters in two people’s personality types can feel like a promise of compatibility. In the case of these two, the end result meets expectations. However, the one differing letter can be a source of some contrasting traits that may create issues in this relationship.
Fortunately, although a feeler, an INFJ is likely to share the INTJ's innate intellectual curiosity and thirst for knowledge. While these two may sometimes have different interests, they can bond over their shared appreciation for culture, art, and science.
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INTJ Male and INFJ Female Compatibility
The INTJ male is often drawn to the INFJ women due to the latter’s pronounced feminine qualities, contrasting their typically harsh and cold demeanor because of their sense of humor, gentleness, and vibrant personality.
In response, the INFJ female finds the INTJ male’s depth and intelligence attractive and charismatic. The contrasting yet complementing characteristics between the two personalities also lead to the start of a good INTJ and INFJ friendship.
INTJ Female and INFJ Male
The compatibility between an INTJ female and an INFJ male exudes a balance that breaks down gender stereotypes. INFJ males are more open and expressive about their feelings, while INTJ females are more introverted and reserved.
The INFJ male does not pressure the INTJ female for attention or intimacy in the same manner that the INTJ female acknowledges and appreciates the INFJ male’s openness and willingness to be vulnerable.
Complete Analysis of INTJ and INFJ Relationship
Let’s explore the specific components of the INTJ and INFJ relationship dynamic:
#1. INTJ and INFJ Communication
While both INFJs and INTJs prefer conversations that delve around concepts, theories, abstract topics, and ideas, they may only sometimes find it easier to meet halfway when communicating their thoughts and feelings.
Communication is the easiest or most challenging factor in building a long-lasting connection with each other.
INTJs dislike being pushed to open up about their emotions, while INFJs need constant reassurance in a relationship and may take time to express how they feel despite being attuned to their feelings.
#2. INTJ and INFJ Handling Conflict
The most striking INTJ and INFJ differences involve how each personality type handles conflict or disagreements.
INTJs are logical and more direct, while INFJs are sensitive and considerate.
Masterminds argue rationally, while Counselors consider other factors and tend to listen to both sides. INFJs don’t always see conflict as a negative experience; instead, they regard disagreements as an opportunity to learn and be more empathetic.
That said, an INTJ can show their INFJ counterpart how to practice more reasoning in assessing disagreements, while the latter can teach the former to be more sensitive with their choice of words and be more expressive.
#3. INTJ and INFJ Values
There are quite a few similarities between INTJ and INFJ in the values they uphold. Both personalities have core personal values focusing on self-improvement, integrity, and honesty.
An INTJ and INFJ marriage may also work because Masterminds and Counselors underscore the importance of authenticity and loyalty between partners.
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#4. INTJ and INFJ Decision Making
It is interesting to note that INFJs and INTJs use contradictory predominant traits in decision-making.
The personality of INFJs is governed by extroverted feelings, which means they think about how their actions and decisions may affect other people. INFJs can also be decisive and figure out ways to realize their aspirations.
INTJs are governed by extroverted thinking, so they practice objectivity and are data-driven in their decisions. They detach decision-making from external perspectives, making them too impersonal and harsh.
Masterminds and Counselors can channel their self-reflective inclinations to see the bigger picture and assess how they can incorporate each other’s approaches in making more informed decisions.
#5. INTJ and INFJ Daily Life
One thing that INTJs and INFJs can agree on is that their circle of friends can be small but made up of solid and meaningful connections.
They prefer privacy and don’t mind spending long hours with those they are genuinely interested in. On the bright side, this makes the time spent in bed between an INTJ and INFJ more exciting and something that both personalities look forward to.
INTJs and INFJs would also prefer to share a slow but enjoyable day than have their senses overloaded by relentless social activity and exposure to a fast-paced and high-stress environment.
#6. INTJ and INFJ Dealing With Stress
An INTJs most common stressors include conforming to traditional norms and rules, expressing their feelings, being in a group of new people, and spending excessive amounts of time in the company of others.
Meanwhile, INFJ personality types get stressed when in crowded places and when they feel that they have disappointed or failed themselves. They also do not deal well with other people’s criticisms and harsh feedback.
3 Potential Issues in INTJ and INFJ Relationship
The following are the three potential issues that INTJs and INFJs may face in their relationship:
- Open communication. INTJ personality type operates mainly on logic and struggles with being emotionally vulnerable. INFJs may worry a lot and feel uncomfortable dealing with the Mastermind’s direct and impersonal nature.
- The constant need for personal space. Shared introversion may or may not work well in a romantic partnership, as both partners are dominated by introverted intuition. The constant need for INTJs and INFJs for privacy and personal space may leave no room for them to work together and build solid foundations to make the relationship work.
- Varying love languages. An INTJ and INFJ differ not only in terms of how they communicate in general but also in terms of how they express romantic interest. An INTJ’s love language is action-oriented, while INFJs show they care through words of affirmation.
3 Tips On How to Improve INTJ and INFJ Relationships
If there are potential issues, then there are also effective ways to address and resolve the inevitable drawbacks in an INTJ and INFJ relationship, such as:
- Be patient. Patience is a crucial ingredient for an INTJ and INFJ to meet halfway. Pressuring each other to conform to their perspective or approach will create more friction between them. It is best to reassure and guide each other in understanding one another’s viewpoint.
- Be each other’s safe space. Understandably, people in relationships also need their alone time. But if more time is spent alone than together in a romantic connection, it defeats the point of being in one. INTJs and INFJs can try to strike a balance by sharing quiet but quality time. For example, they can think of ways to unwind and relax alongside each other.
- Accept each other’s differences. Masterminds and Counselors must learn that by accepting that they are not 100% alike and acknowledging their differences, it is possible to form a harmonious and nurturing relationship. They can also take a personality test about love languages and communication styles to understand each other better.
Final Thoughts
Exploring the depths of a friendship or romantic relationship between an INTJ and an INFJ is a colorful and exciting journey. The connection may work well, provided both parties are willing to compromise and have the patience to work out their differences.
Keep the important insights and tips outlined in this article in mind if you’re trying to make this connection work.
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